, ,

I am not going to apologise.

and I won’t be silenced.

I have a daughter. One day, she will become sexually active, and quite frankly, the way things are developing in the sexual universe, I’d rather she were a citizen of planet lesbian.

She’s eight, and as far as I can sense, she’s not.

Which means boys.


Now, before you follow your “lizard brain’s” instincts and start eructing cheap shots such as “lezzer”,”prude” or (the go-to buzz word of the MRA) “misandrist”,apart from entreating you to grow up, I will tell you this.

I am neither.

And I am under no obligation to explain why.

Anyway. Back on subject.

Boys, sex, and porn.

When I was young girl mainstream porn was something hidden, sneaky, and quite frankly, puerile.

It generally consisted of badly acted (“Das plummer-mit erotische action”)films with risible plots and worse production values.

Or magazines which were more akin to gynaecology pictorials with a smattering of articles and stories consisting of the rather adolescent fantasies of amateur contributors who, it seemed to me, didn’t-ahem- “get much”.

Hardcore porn was the stuff of legend and fat wallets.

By today’s standards? not “hardcore” at all.

And no internet.

No, it wasn’t that long ago either.

And boys still nagged girls for sex. Still called you “lezzer” or “slag” if you refused.  And then claimed to have “had” you, either way.

We had pubic hair and nobody did a “Ruskin”* or doubted our hygiene if we didn’t shave it.

More importantly, nobody pestered you for anything beyond sex, plain, “vanilla” sex. And, like the-rapidly shrinking-majority of today’s males, were frankly astounded to get beyond first base, and commensurately, pathetically grateful when they did, bless their hearts.

I’m pretty sure, from asking men as well as women of my generation, that most of us were shit scared of the twin demons of maybe having sex, and maybe never having sex.

Do I think things have changed that much, gotten easier?

Yes, and no.

Adults may be more relaxed about kinks and peccadillos, but trust me , adults always were. We didn’t invent sex at the beginning of the sixties, as any senior citizen will tell you. We just talk about it more.

And all that talk has become as “white noise”, an unavoidable tinnitus ringing in ever younger ears, subliminally forming psychologies that ride bareback on the lizard brain impulses of those often too young to recognise, much less rationalise.

Sex is no longer an end in itself. No, sex has a menu, a check off list, written on female flesh.

Rendering women mere “amuse bouche”, “entrée” and desert, often casualising biology into snacks and the sex equivalent of fast food, when it should be a feast.

And love?  Fuck holes……..

Porn is killing sex.

*Google Ruskin.